These last two weeks have been so unbelievably intense. Previously, I mentioned that I was preparing for a gig on the 23rd of July. 
I had been working on producing and recording my album for a few years. However, about four years ago my hard drive was broken. All my songs and production files- gone. 
My laptop was then stolen in 2015 and with that, the remainder of my music stolen too. I was left with only the audio files on my iPod which suddenly stopped working a few months later.
I haven’t done a show in such a long time and This series of unfortunate events left me demotivated, to say the least. I took a break from music for a few years but I always knew that it was something I would definitely go back to when the time was right.

A few months ago I found myself writing a lot more and getting inspired to produce… 
Earlier this year, my brother released his album and shortly after, we both found ourselves in a community of fellow artists. We were suddenly immersed in an environment of shows and gigs and it felt great.

My break from Youtube had already cemented my desire to go back to performing, writing and singing. The gig on 23 July of this year was to mark my return to performing. This also meant that I had to gather a band, rehearse and re- produce my music. There were so many factors that made it all a mad rush because my bass player was away on holiday and was returning the week of the performance. 
I spent the last two weeks producing my music from scratch. Rewriting lyrics, certain parts and the final stage: mixing both the tracks and my vocals.

The performance was going to be part of an annual festival so I knew it was going to be a big crowd. My brother was not only performing his own music, he was also drumming for both mine and my sisters' sets; As well as organising the entire music section of this festival. 
We were both extremely pressured and neither of us got much sleep. I kept telling him we shouldn’t be so stressed because ‘You never know, it could rain!’ and he would laugh and say ‘That is true.’ We've both had enough bad gigs to know what it’s like to waste your time stressing over a show which eventually comes to nothing. 
Needless to say, the day of the event came. The sun was shining, there was a big crowd and great vibes. When the time came to perform, we had technical difficulties. Before we hit the stage, our equipment just stopped working. It rained, then poured, then the crowd scattered and that was pretty much the end. We didn't get to perform after all but at least I got my music done and I'm ready for more shows.

The point is, not only is it useless to stress over things that don't ultimately matter. I also realised that this stress I was feeling, was exactly what I had asked for! I wanted to be busy doing music. I wanted to rehearse my stuff with a band and perform. This is what I wanted!

It's so important to appreciate the downtime so that when what you really want starts happening, you can enjoy those days too. 
I'm already booked for more upcoming shows and I'm definitely a lot more prepared.



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Be BOLD! xx